i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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