nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
