I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
