So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
