Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize