i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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