His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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