are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
