is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
