shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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