I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
