My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
