I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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