NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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