Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The Olympian is in my bed
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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