foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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