Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
