windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
