What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
