Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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