Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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