Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my poor anus
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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