I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
