I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
