omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
