oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
