i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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