the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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