i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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