I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
