i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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