if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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