You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
