nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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