we made out on top of his cat.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
