Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
