well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I could fuck to npr.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
