You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize