yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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