giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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