I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
