thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
