i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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