Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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