What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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