i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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