Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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