put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
