this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize