Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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