I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
