why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
