so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Need sex. Gaining weight.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
