omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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