Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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