This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
