Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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