I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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