Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize