It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
