hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
