Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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