My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
