Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
