I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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