it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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