i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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