Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
