it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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